Teaching Kids to Handle Conflict & Bullying

Although I want to be able to protect my kids from others, at the end of the day, I know it’s best just to arm them with as much self-confidence and as many social tools as they need in order to navigate the choppy waters of youth. I was on both sides as a kid. Sometimes bully, sometimes bullied.

Recently, my younger daughter told me a friend used physical intimidation on her at the playground. Because there was physical harm involved, I stepped in. I spoke with the friend’s mom, who was understanding of my concerns. I’m happy we were able to resolve the issue between the kids with no hard feelings. Life’s about learning lessons, after all, and when to give second chances is an important one.

Grade school/elementary-aged children also bully by excluding kids. “I’m not your friend” is an oft-heard phrase, with ringleaders telling others not to play with a particular child. Being deliberately left out of social circles, schoolyard games, and classroom chatter is isolating and humiliating. Empathy is great in these situations. Discuss with your child how they might feel if they were left out, and talk about ways other than exclusion that kids can resolve conflict among themselves.

With older kids, intimidation can be uglier, sneakier. When “bad blood” creeps into social platforms, they become rife with bullying, name-calling, rumour-spreading, threats. I can’t imagine going through my teenage years with texting, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and the like. Those are precisely the years when self-consciousness and social awkwardness abound. As a parent, I am very glad I stayed one step ahead of my kids when it comes to social media and that we’ve got a “not unless mom gets the passwords” policy, and I try to talk with them about all the different ways bullying and conflict can arise, how to identify it, and how to stop it. It can be vicious out there!

As a parent, have you had to deal with trolls/bullies, online or IRL? What’s your strategy?

Photo Credit: WaveBreakMedia/Thinkstock

Natalie Rea

Mom to two amazing daughters - a feisty teen in middle school, and an ambitious young adult in university. Originally from Montréal's West Island, I now explore the beautiful trails of Hamilton, Ontario. Proud Canadian, vegetarian, dog-adopter, & bleeding-heart liberal. I smile a lot because I have Resting Bitch Face.