Help! My kids want to enter the virtual world!

In the last tech post I wrote here for Mom Central, I talked about using technology in the summer months to engage your kids in more than just computer games. I’m very comfortable helping my children use technology and I love all the opportunities it can provide to learn about our ever-changing world.

Kids and social media

One area of technology that isn’t as comfortable for me is my kids’ involvement in social media. I work in social media and spend a good part of each day engaging and connecting with people on social media platforms. It’s my job and I love it. But when it comes to my kids, I’m not as comfortable. I’m an adult and have a clear idea of how to conduct myself and who I should interact with. I want to be sure my kids have a clear understanding of this before they venture off into the world of walls and tweets.

My mom tells me all the time that parenting was easier when she was raising me. I’m not sure about that as a statement for everything about parenting, but when it comes to social media, she’s right. Facebook and Twitter didn’t exist when she was raising me. You couldn’t Google people and see what came up. When I typed something to a friend, it wasn’t recorded in a virtual world forever. If I did something stupid (and I did a lot of stupid stuff) a photo of me doing it wasn’t put out there for everyone to see and revisit any time they wanted.

What happens on the internet, stays on the internet

So how do I help my son understand the importance of the permanency of social media? He’s a great kid, but no matter how great he is, he doesn’t have the life experience to completely understand the idea that things just don’t go away once you put them out in the virtual world. He also can’t grasp how what he does now can have an impact on him for years into the future. No teenagers brain is wired to fathom this.

My husband’s a principal at a Junior High and deals with issues about social media every day. Bullying and communication can get even more problematic when virtual platforms are used. I know I’m not ready to enter this arena with my boys yet, but eventually it will happen.

Real world behavior vs. virtual behavior

My oldest son has already asked my permission to become a member of a big social network. He’s responsible. He’s social. He’s connected. He’s ready. I’m not. I know he will conduct himself in the same way he conducts himself in the real world: respectfully and kindly. I’ve already observed him and how he acts and I know his behavior wouldn’t be different in the virtual world.

However, I’ve observed others in the real world and know their online behavior wouldn’t be any better than how they behave in real life. Kids can be unkind, rude, and thoughtless. I don’t want him associating with these folks. I can parent that easier in the real world than in the virtual one.

How do you handle your child’s use of social media?

How do you help your kids understand the permanence and impact these platforms can have on your child’s social network? How do you set limits for their use? I feel I’ve been well-trained to parent in the real world.

It’s the virtual world where I need a some help. I’m just starting out on this journey and would appreciate any advice you can give me.

When Eileen Calandro isn’t spending time with her family in the real world, she is the Chief Mom Connector of Mom Central in the virtual world. You can learn more about her personal, virtual world on her personal blog at calandroclan.com and connect with her on twitter at @MomCentralChat and @calandro5.

Eileen Calandro