Nature vs. Nurture – Our Kids Are Who They Are

I never put much stock in the whole Nature vs. Nurture debate as much as I did after I had kids. It was immediately apparent to me that my two daughters simply were who they were. Their parenting had both been the same, the only difference being I was a bit older the second time around.

From the moment she could hold a crayon, a stick of chalk, or a paintbrush, my elder daughter was creating. She would make bird-feeders out of old milk cartons, bejewelled pencil holders from tin cans, and so much artwork, I ran out of walls. Every holiday was an occasion for new, themed crafts (“cut-out snowflakes!”, “heart-shaped window art!”, “painted Easter eggs!”). Even though she’s in university now, my dining room table still features little beads of glitter glue from this magical time-gone-by, and those just-for-adult new coloring books that are currently trending? She works on hers in between study sessions!

My younger daughter is definitely more introspective, broody, and a total FEELER. She can spend hours on her own, in her room, reading and writing. She was reading by the time she was three and always has 3 or 4 books on the go. Early in her scholastic education (maybe first grade?) her class began to keep a “What I did on the weekend” journal. Once introduced to getting stories and feelings down on paper, she was hooked. By grade 5, she was writing 4 journals for her peers’ every 1. As she got closer to her tween years, I encouraged her to use a journal in order to get her tough feelings out, rather than acting out in a tantrum or otherwise. It’s proved a great outlet for her.

I just think it’s worth thinking about, and reflecting on, especially those of us who try to mold our kids into A-students, professional athletes, or to fit into some idea of how we think they should be.

I really do think kids just are who they are, and parents are there to help them discover who that is, and to be the best they can at doing what they love.

What do you think?

Photo credit: Hemera Technologies/Thinkstock

Natalie Rea

Mom to two amazing daughters - a feisty teen in middle school, and an ambitious young adult in university. Originally from Montréal's West Island, I now explore the beautiful trails of Hamilton, Ontario. Proud Canadian, vegetarian, dog-adopter, & bleeding-heart liberal. I smile a lot because I have Resting Bitch Face.