I think the “cool” mom gets a bad rap. There are so many essays, blog posts, articles, and memes that paint the “cool” mom in such a bad light.
The cool mom wants to be her kids’ friend and not their parent!
The cool mom values being liked over being respected.
The cool mom doesn’t want to piss her kids off, so will let them get their way.
I don’t freak out over small stuff, mostly because I hate conflict and I choose my battles. I know Dr. Phil is no parenting expert, but I remember watching his show one day, years back, when he said, “You don’t have to win every battle with your child, but when you pick a battle, you best be sure you win”.
That’s my philosophy.
I remember being a kid, and a teenager. I kept a messy bedroom. I chose friends’ parties over special family events, and I embraced my teen years by acting out and loitering. Now that my kids are at this age, I don’t want to make everything an argument… I know they come by their selfish, slovenly ways naturally.
As long as there is nothing rotting in their bedrooms (or wet towels ruining the floors), they can pretty much keep them the way they want them to. If they don’t put their dirty laundry in the hamper, they don’t have clean clothes! If their friends come over and shame them for being slobs, that’s on them. The rest of the house is fine!
I don’t force the kids to attend family events, or to sit through Friday night movie night with me. We’ve created plenty of memories doing it over the years, and I’d rather them truly want to spend time with family than begrudgingly sit there because they’ve been forced to.
Does that make me cool? Permissive? Dumb?
I honestly don’t care. For now, we keep the peace, with a little understanding. I’ll make an issue of things I find more important than what I simply consider is just “kids being kids”.
If that makes me the dreaded “cool” mom, whatever.
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