Enough, Enough of the “So-Called Mommy Bloggers!”

That’s it. I’m finally ready to throw pieces of blog shard at the next person who refers to the “so-called mommy bloggers.”

I got quoted in a piece this morning from the AP entitled, “Procter & Gamble hosts bloggers in stepped-up counteroffensive on Pampers Dry Max diapers.”   In the article’s opening foray appears this one line, “It hopes the effort — including flying in the four so-called “mommy bloggers” from around the country because they can influence parents seeking product reviews, moneysaving tips and other advice — will deflect undeserved criticism.”

My blog friend Anne-Marie Nichols wrote to me with succinctness: “Putting so-called and the quotation marks around mommy bloggers is so demeaning.” And it is.

I’m trying to come up with parallel analogies, such as the “so-called daddy investment bankers” but nothing springs to mind. The diminutive, you see, stems from both the “so-called” as well as the “mommy.” But to really delve into this, I’ve got to back up a second and introduce you to Mrs. Remy.

Meet the So-Called Mrs. Remy

I admit, I have much practice with this “so-called” stuff. When I married my husband, I kept my last name and over the past 23 years I’ve come to be fond of the so-called “Mrs Remy.” She’s been invited to and attended some terrific weddings, holiday work parties, bar mitzvahs, christenings, cocktail parties, and reunion events. Her name looks fantastic in calligraphy on the invitation envelopes. She’s been a fun conversationalist with kids, and nods with muted enthusiasm to comments such as “Thanks for having me over, Mrs. Remy” and “Mrs. Remy, my mom asked if she could carpool with you to the soccer tournament.” She’s appreciative when she picks up her golf clubs or makes a tennis reservation. She has been a great friend to junk mailers and a favorite among telemarketers. She’s fictional.

Meet the So-Called Mommy Blogger
But wait, another contending identity has appeared: make way for the so-called “Mommy Blogger.” So-Called Mommy Blogger has kids who still shriek, “MOMMY” from upstairs demanding her attention while she empties the dishwasher, whips up eggs, and sets out breakfast plates. Mommy Blogger muses and writes persuasively on her computer about issues, products, dilemmas, and stories that capture her interest or her consternation. Mommy Blogger shops at the supermarket trying to recall what brands most want her to try, buy, or upgrade to. She debates between ad networks for her blog that pay her only enough money to be up there in the same camp as coupon clipping. She tries to figure out how to monetize all this writing she’s doing for free. Mommy Blogger picks up the kids from school, and checks in on Twitter from the athletic field sidelines. Mommy Blogger gets emails from brands, agencies, and entrepreneurs seeking her attention and affection. Mommy Blogger is quite the favorite and sought after by the top companies in the country. She’s also fictional.

Who’s Doing the So-Calling?
Why the brands, agencies and old media are doing the so-called calling- more like cat-calling, as in “Hey good lookin’ Mommy Blogger! Wanna write a blog about me?! Introduce me to some of your lady friends?” The brands need us, but struggle at taking us seriously. The agencies want to work with us but resent how much attention we get and how prickly a group we are to corral into what sometimes verges on the line of “stupid brand tricks”- as in go to the supermarket, videotape yourself looking for toothpaste on the aisle, turn this into a vlog posting with a special focus on the remarkable new whitening technology of X brand, tweet about it, enter our sweepstakes contest, like us on Facebook, but wait there’s more…  And the old media simmers at resentment as lay offs pile up and readership morphs to the so-called “new media.”

In endless brand meetings, conferences, power points, proposals, campaigns and outreaches, the So-Called Mommy Blogger gets summoned forth. Like the fictional Mrs. Remy, she’s uni-dimensional and fairly subservient. She can be lured. She can be persuaded. And yet she has the audacity to bristle when referred to as “Mommy” as in “There, there, little Mommy.” She’s decided long ago that there’s only one group of people in the universe who truly get to call her “Mommy” and it’s her kids. And though “so-called” she’s very, very real. And the Mommy Blogger moniker makes her skin crawl.

In the meantime while we get this all sorted out, could you please all refer to the so-called Mommy Blogger with her new title, “Esteemed Madame Mom Blogger, sir!”

Stacy DeBroff

Stacy DeBroff, founder and CEO of Mom Central.com and social and digital consultancy, Influence Central, is a social media strategist, attorney, and best-selling parenting author. A sought-after expert for national media, she trend-spots regularly with national brands and speaks frequently to national and international audiences on a wide range of subjects, including influencer marketing, social media, entrepreneurship, and consumer trends. A passionate cook, gardener, reader, and tennis player, she adores this new chapter of post-college-age parenting.